If you’ve started over more times than you can count – in January, in March, after a vacation, after a hard season of life – I want you to know something before you read another word:
You are not the problem.
I’ve been coaching women for years. I hear the same thing over and over: “I’ve tried everything. I don’t know why nothing sticks.”
Here’s what I’ve learned: it’s almost never about effort. The women I work with are some of the most hardworking, driven, capable people I’ve ever met. They don’t fail because they’re lazy. They fail because the system around them was never built for them.
| “It’s almost never about effort. The women who struggle the most are often the ones trying the hardest.” |
This post is about the real reasons women struggle with fitness consistency – and more importantly, what actually fixes each one.
- Programs Built for Someone Else’s Body
The fitness industry has historically been designed by men, for men. The research, the programming, the “standard” recommendations – a huge portion of it was built around a male physiology and then handed to women with a “just reduce the weight” adjustment.
But women’s bodies are not smaller versions of men’s bodies. Hormonal cycles, menopause, perimenopause, autoimmune conditions, joint hypermobility – these are real factors that affect how a woman should train, how she recovers, and what results actually look like.
The fix: A program that was designed specifically for you. One that accounts for where you are in your cycle, what’s going on with your hormones, and what your body actually needs – not what a generic 12-week plan assumes.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking
This is one of the most common patterns I see – and it’s completely understandable given how fitness is marketed to women.
You have a great week. You hit all your workouts, you eat well, you feel amazing. Then one thing goes sideways. You miss a session. You have a hard day and eat something that wasn’t “on the plan.” And suddenly, in your head, the week is ruined.
So you stop. And you start over next Monday.
The problem isn’t that you slipped. The problem is that slipping feels like failure – because no one ever told you that a sustainable fitness practice is supposed to bend, not break.
The fix: A mindset shift – and a coach who normalizes imperfection. Progress isn’t a straight line. A good week followed by a hard week is still progress. Two sessions instead of four is still progress. Showing up imperfectly beats not showing up at all, every single time.
| “Two sessions instead of four is still progress. Showing up imperfectly beats not showing up at all.” |
- No One to Be Accountable To
When you’re doing this alone, the only person who notices when you skip a workout is you. And on a tired Tuesday after a long day, you can very convincingly talk yourself out of it.
Accountability is not a personality trait – it’s a structural tool. The research on this is clear: people who have external accountability are significantly more consistent than people who rely purely on internal motivation.
It doesn’t have to be a coach. It can be a training partner, a community, a group chat. But it has to be something outside of your own head.
The fix: Find your accountability before you need it. A coach who checks in. A group of women who show up together. A community where your absence is noticed and your wins are celebrated. That’s not optional – it’s the missing piece for most women.
- Not Enough Time – Or So It Feels
Let me say something that might sound harsh: most of the time, the time is there. It’s just not prioritized.
And before you close this tab – I say that with zero judgment, because I’ve been there too. When you’re running kids to activities, managing a career, handling everything at home, and trying to show up for everyone in your life – carving out 45 minutes for yourself can feel genuinely impossible.
But here’s what I know from coaching busy women: the ones who “find” time aren’t the ones with more hours. They’re the ones who decided their health was non-negotiable – and then built their routine around that decision instead of waiting for a gap to appear in the calendar.
The fix: Shorter, smarter workouts. A 30-minute program that you actually do is infinitely more valuable than a 60-minute program that sits on your phone. We build programs around your real schedule, not the ideal version of it.
- Wanting to Lose Weight for the Wrong Reasons
I work with a lot of women who come to me because they want to lose weight. And that’s completely valid – I’m not here to tell anyone what their goals should be.
But what I’ve seen is this: when the entire motivation is external – fitting into a dress, a number on a scale, looking a certain way by summer – it’s fragile. The moment the scale doesn’t move for two weeks, the motivation collapses.
The women who sustain their results are the ones who shift their focus to how they feel. To what their body can do. To having energy at 4pm instead of dragging. To sleeping better. To not hurting.
The fix: Reframe your why. Keep the aesthetic goals if they matter to you – but add the functional ones alongside them. How do you want to feel in six months? What do you want to be able to do? When your why is deeper than a number, it survives the hard weeks.
- Struggling With Pain, Autoimmune Issues, or Menopause
This one doesn’t get talked about enough.
A significant number of the women I work with are managing chronic pain, autoimmune conditions, perimenopause, or full menopause. And the standard fitness advice – push harder, go heavier, sweat more – is not just unhelpful for these women. It’s sometimes actively harmful.
Inflammation responses, fatigue patterns, joint issues, hormonal fluctuations – these require a completely different approach to training. And most programs don’t even acknowledge they exist.
The fix: Work with a coach who understands the full picture of what’s going on with your body. Training can and should be adapted for wherever you are. Showing up matters more than the intensity. And sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your body is scale back – not push through.
So What Actually Works?
The women in my remote coaching program who get real, sustainable results have a few things in common:
- They have a program built specifically for them – not a template, not a generic plan
- Their nutrition supports their training instead of fighting against it
- They have accountability that shows up even when motivation doesn’t
- Their program bends when life gets hard instead of breaking
- They’re part of a community that understands what they’re going through
None of that is complicated. But all of it requires the right support structure — and that’s exactly what we’re building.
Women’s Wellness Day – May 9th
On May 9th, we’re hosting our Women’s Wellness Day at Complete Performance in Blaine, MN – and it’s designed around everything in this blog post.
We’re addressing the real reasons women struggle. We’re giving you tools that actually fit your life. And we’re surrounding you with a community of women who are on the same journey.
It’s one morning. And it might change the rest of your year.
You’ve been trying hard enough. Let’s make sure the system around you finally matches that effort and get started HERE!
