Flashback one year ago from today, and I would have sworn to you that 26 was destined to be the worst year of my life.
I had a lousy birthday.
I was questioning whether or not I made the right choice in changing jobs.
I was wildly uncertain about starting my own coaching business.
And I’ve never loved my birthday because I always saw it as a day to look at all the things I DIDN’T do in that year.
Well, it’s not about how you start, right?
It’s about how you finish, and besides being running into some obstacles (or do car accidents and line drives to the face count as them running into me?) the last few weeks, it’s been a hell of a year.
There were some MAJOR highlights, but there have also been A LOT of lessons learned.
Here’s a list A to Z of all I’ve learned this past year.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an All or Nothing person.
In every class, sport, relationship, or activity I prided myself in never half-assing it.
But just before I turned 26, I realized there was one area where I wasn’t ALL IN.
There was always that fear of failure and self-doubt lingering that only allowed me to dip my toes in the water.
This past year I went ALL IN on myself. I FINALLY started to trust my abilities and knowledge and I went ALL IN on a business, training, and my relationships.
Do you know what?
I’ll never go back. I’m forever ALL IN on myself.
For the longest time, I believed balance meant equal time and effort in all areas of your life.
Well, if I spent 8 hours a day working, that means I need to spend 8 hours training, 8 hours on my relationships, and 8 hours for every other piece of my life.
I’m not a math whiz, but that does NOT add up to 24 hours.
This past year I developed a better relationship with the idea of balance.
I learned that there are seasons of life where certain things get more attention than others and that that’s perfectly okay!
This past year taught me that during those seasons I need to be up front and communicate HOW I’m maintaining balance in my life and to stop pretending that I have equal amounts of time for each area.
By definition, balance may mean equal, but not in my life. In my life, it means adjusting to the seasons and learning to dedicate SOME piece of time to each.
A few years ago, Brian and I started to dream up this business. In our vision and life plan, that business was still 2 to 3 years down the road.
In year 26, I learned that it is possible to have your dream job.
If I’m being honest, I wasn’t confident in our ability to make this business a success in the beginning; however, together we’ve learned how to make our dream a reality.
The lessons I’ve learned as a business owner could make up its own blog (Idea?), but I’m grateful for every one of them and cannot wait to see what we can make of this dream come true.
I’ve always preferred routine, but what I didn’t know was the importance of a daily routine.
When my mentor gave me a daily checklist for a morning routine, I wasn’t convinced I needed it.
But I DO!
My focus is better. My self-talk is more positive. My goals are fresh in my head. I’m grateful for the people in my life and the lessons learned from each day.
This all comes by maintaining a daily routine.
Here’s what my daily routine looks like:
- Greens Drink + Probiotic
- Journal (Victory of the day, situational positive focus, gratitude practice, goal writing, and affirmations)
- Prayer & Daily To-Do List
- Body Movement & Flow
- Practice Spanish (Something to challenge my brain in a way different from my day to day responsibilities)
Maybe it’s me learning to trust my knowledge?
Maybe my years in school have left me as a life-long student?
Maybe I’m just a nerd?
Whatever it is, this past year I learned how important it is to continue my education. I don’t need to formally be in school, but I need to find ways to challenge my brain and grow my skill set as a coach and person.
But what’s the point of having this knowledge if I don’t share it?
This past year I have loved educating my clients. I love sharing recent findings and knowledge gained that will help my clients along their journey. It builds mutual trust and it helps bring them along and reach new heights in their journey.
My family is awesome, but I’m the first to admit that I have a tendency to put other things before them.
That’s not fair.
These are the people who have helped me get to this point in my life. They are the people always ready to help at first call. These people love me no matter what crazy idea or schedule I come up with next.
I value these people, and I value the time I have with these people because without them, I wouldn’t be me.
We all know that when our tummy rumbles it’s telling us we’re hungry, but did you know that’s not the only way your gut talks to you?
This past year I learned SO MUCH about my gut.
I learned that my digestion and regularity is heavily influenced by my stress levels.
I discovered that foods like oats, quinoa, and peppers cause me to feel bloated.
Now, I load up on sweet potatoes, blueberries, and more chicken.
I didn’t need a big expensive test to learn all of this either. I just kept track of what I ate and how I felt! Whenever I experienced bloating, inflammation, or upset stomach I tried to find the root cause.
Trust me, it wasn’t every day that I wanted to track my intake, but I am SO GLAD I did and so is my gut 😉
I am the classic “Yes Woman.”
I have a caretaker and server personality, so I will do whatever it takes to help ease the life of another. It’s part of what makes me a good coach!
If there’s one important lesson from 26 is to be sure I’m things that make me happy.
Yes, I am happy to help and serve others, but that’s also emotionally draining.
I’ve learned that in order to best coach others and enjoy doing it, I need to match those efforts with other things that make me happy.
In year 26 I discovered the importance of my own happiness, now year 27 is all about doing those things 🙂
I tell nearly every client to carry less about what others think.
What I found this last year is that the reason that’s such a big emphasis with my clients is that it’s because an issue within my own life.
For the longest time I felt that in order to be a quality coach I had to maintain a specific image.
I believed that I needed to have a certain body type, wear certain clothes, do specific things, and eat certain foods.
In my head, I believed I needed to have mastered the lifestyle.
There are three key words in that sentence – “In my head.”
That belief was not true. It was my discomfort with myself and fear of how I appeared to others as a coach.
Throughout this past of growing a business as well as myself, my goal was to be more vulnerable and real with clients. This has taken the pressure off of me and has built a more trusting relationship with clients and followers.
How many things have you put off until a better time? For when you were less stressed and busy?
Take the leap and get going!
Neither of us are getting any younger, so why are you waiting?
You will always be busy and stressed!
if you’re waiting to jump until the right time, you’ll forever be waiting.
If you know me at all, you know I’m always on the go.
Sitting still is hard for me, but I’ve learned that it’s OKAY to kick back and not always be on the go.
I was literally hit in the head (twice) and forced to take some time to kick back.
Let me tell you, it’s HARD! But the truth is that there’s no way I would have learned this lesson had I not been forced to do so.
There are so many things we believe must get done NOW, when in reality they can wait.
Embrace the opportunities to kick back!
I have! In fact, I’m writing this blog in a chair while getting a pedicure right now 😉
The most common question I’ve been asked in the last year?
“What’s it like working with your husband?”
I’d be lying if I said it was easy, but love is what makes it work.
We both LOVE what we do and the people we work with.
More importantly, we LOVE each other.
We fight and disagree, but because this business is built on the foundation of loving each other and our work, that’s what allows it to hold strong.
Personally, I think motivation is misunderstood.
From my personal and professional experience, I believe most of us view motivation as an object or thing to be given to another.
Again, from my personal and professional experience, motivation is not something that can be given. It’s 100% internal.
I’ve read dozens of motivational books, saved hundreds of motivational quotes as my phone background, listened to the most fired up people on podcasts, and STILL felt unmotivated.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt a burning fire to get my rear in gear afterwards, but that “motivation” quickly faded.
What that really is is excitement. It’s your brain matching the emotions of what you’re watching, reading, or doing.
Clients ask me to give them motivation to get started, but motivation isn’t something to be given! Motivation is found within.
I can use all the motivational words, lines, and songs to get you going, but you still need to generate the motivation to get started.
This year, I’m not looking for anyone to give me motivation. I’m looking to do more of what I love and what makes me happy and I’m doing it!
This again comes back to me being a “Yes Woman.”
In other words, that means I struggle to say no….
In year 26, I improved my ability to say NO. I’m pretty darn proud of this one.
It’s definitely still a work in progress, but I’m no longer filling my schedule with things for which I don’t actually have the time or mental capacity.
Let me tell you, it feels great.
While I hope there are more things I get to say “yes” to in year 27, I can’t wait to say “no” to more things that don’t serve my passion or life’s purpose.
In an attempt to maintain an image, I felt my relationship with clients and followers lacked openness.
I wasn’t lying or hiding things from clients, but more so not painting the whole picture.
I’ve grown into an open book. I share my struggles, successes, challenges, and milestones.
I’ve learned that the more open I am, the more open my clients are, and that’s a win-win scenario.
Be open with yourself, your family, your friends, and your coaches so you’re bearing less burdens and able to find solutions by looking at the big picture.
Logically, I know perfection is not a real thing.
Emotionally, I still believe perfection is attainable.
I will always strive for perfection, it’s how I’m wired, but I no longer view it as a negative.
That’s because I’ve learned how to use my desire for perfection to find areas for improvement.
My faults or errors point out what new project or skill I can take on. They tell me where and how I can grow. They offer up the next steps in my journey into year 27.
Coaching is about teaching and instructing, but too many coaches get wrapped up in the talking that one of the most important aspects of coaching is forgotten:
Specifically, asking the RIGHT questions.
When I started as a coach, I felt the need to prove my knowledge, but over the last few years, I’ve learned that telling my clients all that I know doesn’t actually bring them any closer to results.
Asking questions helps clients move into a problem-solving mindset and to create their own solutions. When this happens, clients are WAY more likely to stick to the plan because THEY created it!
This next year is all about talking less and questioning more!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve moved from one thing to the next, and I never really take the time to think about what just took place.
This past year was full of change.
Why year 26?
What made this year different from year 25?
The only way to know is to reflect and to look at what brought all of the pieces together.
In doing that, I can take a thorough look at what did and did not work so that year 27 can also be a year of growth and success.
All that took place in this past year (or any year) would not have been possible without maintenance of my spiritual health.
My faith has always been important to me, but I wouldn’t say I’ve always been spiritually healthy.
Toward the end of year 25, I decided it was time to give that area of my life a greater focus; therefore, I went into year 26 eager to deepen that relationship.
Looking back, that relationship is stronger than ever, and more importantly, I’ve learned that putting trust into my faith allows me to trust the opportunities placed in front of me to make the best possible choice for my future.
You may have heard the saying that you are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with.
Everyone in your life matters.
The relationships you build and prioritize matter.
Your tribe matters.
Surround yourself with people who build you up, support your new adventures, and celebrate even the smallest of victories with you.
If there are people holding you back in your life, start to question whether or not they’re really worth it. If you come to the conclusion that they’re not, do not fear separation.
I’m a planner.
I love schedule and routine, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you CANNOT plan EVERYTHING.
There are things that happen without explanation.
No matter how hard I try to plan and prepare, the reason for some things are just unexplainable.
I have yet to fully accept it, but I have at least grown closer to embracing these unexplained events and happenings.
What if your sight was taken away?
Life would be harder, right?
Life is also harder without vision in a figurative sense.
In a literal and figurative sense, vision allows you to see what’s in front of you. Without vision, moving forward (any direction really) gets way harder.
Complete Performance was my dream, but that dream could not become a reality until I transformed it into a vision.
That vision helped us to fill in the whole picture. It helped us to see the next steps and put a plan into action to make the dream a reality.
In year 26, I learned just how much I HATE this question.
“What if I can’t make it for a workout?”
“What if I miss my goal?”
“What if I have a cheat meal?”
Those are just some of the most basic ‘What If’ questions asked by MYSELF and clients.
It’s a gateway question because once you ask one, there’s bound to be another and another and another.
That’s because those two words next to each other lead you down a path of worrying
about things you cannot control or predict.
Put those two words together and you’ll live a life of anxiety and question until it eats at your heart and brain so much that you cannot focus on anything else.
X Ray Vision
Coaches ask questions and they get answers.
Good coaches ask questions and know they only got part of the answer.
This year more than ever in my coaching career, I’ve learned that X Ray vision is a MUST when working with clients.
I’ve learned to pick apart the answers, thoughts, and questions from clients to better understand what they’re really getting at.
Most often, their answer is just a surface answer, but it takes a touch of a super power to pull out the true and honest answer 😉
As humans, we love to use others as our excuse.
I remember growing up my parents gave me permission to blame them to get out of a situation or event I didn’t want to be a part of.
I’m sure my parents weren’t the only ones because I know a LOT of people still use others for that!
Here’s what I’ve learned: This is YOUR LIFE! You are an adult who makes all of your own decisions, it’s just a matter of whether or not you make the right one.
Nobody forced you to eat or drink something off your meal plan.
Nobody force you to hit snooze on the alarm clock or skip the gym after work.
This is YOUR LIFE, so you better live it!
There aren’t too many things that start with Z, and if you know me or take a look at any of my social media, you know how important this little one is to me.
Running my own coaching business is absolutely a dream come true, but I have wanted a dog my whole life.
It was never a question of whether or not I would love her, I think Brian just questioned
how much and where he would fall in my love order 😉
But getting Zoey was way more than a dream come true.
Every time I look at her, I’m reminded of everything that we (Brian and myself) have accomplished. She is a representation of all the hard work, effort, perseverance, and even some luck that has brought us to this point.
She is a highlight of every day, and I cannot wait to see what the three of us do in this coming year.
About The Author
Jordan Davies is the Co-Owner of Complete Performance. Jordan has her B.S. in Exercise Science and Psychology, and her M.A. in Holistic Health Studies. She is a CSCS certified strength and conditioning coach, and a PN-1 and NCI-1 certified nutrition coach. She loves to study how the human body needs to be moved and nourished and making that fit to your unique lifestyle. Click Here Now to Apply for Coaching with Jordan.